You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
