Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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