I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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