This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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