....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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