Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My vagina just clenched in fear
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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