I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
