so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
