is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
