STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
