She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
