I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
