She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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