Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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