Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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