Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
