I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
