he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
