fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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