boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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