So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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