So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Congratulations! We have a period
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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