the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
