Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
