we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
