the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
