He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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