How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
