I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
