sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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