Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
