Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
