The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
