we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
