how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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