would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
