billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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