if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
