i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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