yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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