I can't breathe out the right side of my face
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
