Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
