I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
