i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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