Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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