in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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