Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
