he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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