There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
