I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
